When I used to work in production I usually came home late at night or early in the morning. And while walking home from work I’d look up my mom’s window to see if her dresser light was still on. That meant I could go upstairs to her room and talk to her.

Since I transfered to my current job a year ago, I was able to spend more time with my mom after work. One time I came up, said hello and left quickly. I don’t remember why I was in such a hurry but what I do remember is the next night, she complained about it. She asked why I didn’t stay to tell her about my day, asked what happened the previous day, and insisted I should stay longer and talk to her next time.

After she passed, I still had the habit of looking up at her window. I had to avoid constantly being reminded that she was gone, and decided that I had to stop. Sometimes I walk by that side of our house and secretly wish it would be on, so Champagne and I could come up and talk to mom.