I have to admit, that probably wasn’t the life I wanted. Unending office time, with NO overtime pay, or any compensation that was worth all the hard work that I put into one thing that was going to be revised anyway. Different colors, different background, different, different, different, at the end of the day it doesn’t look like what you wanted it to look like in the first place. But yeah…they said so, so fine. I was on a  fast paced, tiring, unpredictable life, the rollercoaster was SO twisty, I puked ALOT during the entire ride, at the end of it I burned out, and wanted to just stay in bed, it wasn’t fair the way I was treated, but the rush was worth it.

I can’t be anything else but thankful about where I am now, but to hold the mouse with the same knowledge I did then, is something I’m yearning for now. Not that I’m saying I have no idea about the stuff I do at the office, no..that’s not it. But it’s a big chunk of different from what I used to do, the frustration builds up at some point, and those words are suddenly echoing in my head – “Wow…I’m dumb again.”  I have to admit, this may be something I can do and have done before, but there are others that are able to do it better than I do, just like my 15 minute design can look breathtaking in comparision to somebody’s 1 hour mediocre artwork. It’s difficult to love something that decides to upset you more than a few times a week, or something that makes you look a little less than you are…specially when you’re around people who’s done it longer than you have, and decide to tag you as “ms. stupid” for the day.

I suppose my only leg up is…if we had to design something in a life or death situation….

I’d live.

Advertisements